If you’re planning a wedding, you know that there are a lot of things to consider—from venue (or am I supposed to say “venue?”) and date, to dress code, flower arrangements, and the like. But one thing many people don’t realize is that there’s also an etiquette question that needs answering early on: Do we want children at our wedding?
This post is full of tips on how to say no kids at weddings—from wording that’s apologetic to wording that’s direct. We’ll also give you some ideas for when including children will be appropriate (hint: it involves babies).
The Rules of No Children Allowed Weddings
- Be consistent – the rule has to apply to every guest. The only acceptable exceptions are children of immediate family and/or of your bridesmaids and ushers, and/or any page boys and flower girls, so long as you let other guests know.
- Don’t be upset if parents can’t attend. You are perfectly justified in having a child-free wedding; they are perfectly justified in not attending if it’s inconvenient or they don’t want to be away from their children.
- Don’t let anyone guilt-trip you about your adults-only policy.
- Accept that some parents may need to leave early.
- If you’re having a destination wedding, you may want to reconsider the kid-free policy – it will be more difficult for parents to travel abroad without their children, or find childcare in another country.
- It’s a lovely gesture if you want to pay for a creche/professional babysitters, but it’s not obligatory.
- If you are particularly close to any friends’ or family’s children, it’s a nice idea to include a personal note with the invitations to reiterate that you’re sorry not to include them.
How to Say No Kids at a Wedding Guide
You’ve decided to host an adults-only gathering, but how do you share this information with your closest friends and family members? We’ve got some tips for how to make your guest list feel welcome, so everyone gets the right message.
Use Wording That Makes Your Situation Clear
Words can have a lot of meaning, so it is important to use the right ones. You can choose words like “No Children” or “18+ Only” to make things clear. The children who are welcome to the venue but will be accompanied by a babysitting service or nursery elsewhere in the building should make this known on the invites.
It doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with some of your no kids wedding invitation wording – just make sure you state your situation clearly. It’s possible to pair a simple and succinct “Adults-Only Event” on your invites with a few lines on the reverse on how excited you are to relax and unwind. Use the most direct phrasing if there is limited space.
How to Address Your Save the Dates and Wedding Invites
One area that can create confusion at child-free weddings is the way that your save the dates and wedding invitations are worded. The traditional wedding invitations specify that only those named on them are actually official guests, so make sure you include only the intended guests on your paper or digital invitations.
Avoid phrases like, “To All of You” or “To Your Name and Familie” if you’re planning an adult-only event. Even if your invite wording later states that under-18s aren’t invited, this can create an expectation that everyone is invited.
Outer Envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Sullivan
Inner Envelope: Mike and Annie
A few examples for your RSVP to get the point across:
We can’t wait to celebrate with you!
Please respond by November 1, 2018
_______ Adults will attend
_______ Sorry to miss it!
OR
Please respond by November 1, 2018
We have reserved two spots for you.
_______ Will attend
_______ Sorry to miss it!
Add a Custom Card to Your Wedding Invitation Suite
If you want to be extra clear, make a note on the reception card or map. I don’t find this awfully offensive as each person wants their wedding to be something different and most respect this. Each of these below are great examples to get let your guest(s) know they are the only one invited in the family. I particularly like this venue example, as a little white lie won’t hurt anyone, just don’t tell anyone. These examples along with double envelopes will help guests understand specifically who is invited and the little ones are not welcome.
- “Leave the Kiddos at Home
While we adore your children, our venue does not have the room for your little ones.
Please make it a date night. We can’t wait to celebrate with you!” - “One Small Request
Dearest friends and family – our wedding ceremony and reception is for adults only. We thank you for respecting this request and look forward to seeing you all in June!” - “Please celebrate with us at an adults-only reception immediately following the ceremony.”
- ”Although we love to watch the children run and play, this is going to be an adults only kind of day.”
- ”Due to restrictions at our venue, children under the age of 16 are not able to attend.”
- ”Children are welcome at the ceremony but the reception is an adults-only affair.”
- ”Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them at the venue due to limited seating. We hope you are able to join us anyway and enjoy a relaxed evening with friends and family!”
If you only share this information on your wedding and save the dates, it is easy for people to overlook the details if they only see them once or twice. Make sure you reinforce your message in all places people will hear about your wedding to avoid confusion.
Add a note about your adults-only occasion on your save the dates and invites, and again on your wedding website and follow-up messages to chase those RSVPs. You should also highlight it on your RSVP cards or response cards, with words like “Only Adults Invited,” “Adults Only,” or “Sorry, No Children.”
Display Confidence and Compassion
Many people have trouble attending weddings as adults, especially if it’s a destination wedding. Finding child care can be challenging, especially if a babysitter or family member is not available to help. Keeping this in mind when you write your wording, and again when people ask you for an exception, is important.
Stand firm and stay true to your feelings. If you like, explain the reasons for your decision or simply declare that it is an adult-only event. Balance standing your ground with understanding the difficult decision your guest might have to make — then it will be much easier for both parties to respect each other’s wishes, needs, and circumstances.
No Kids Wedding Invitation Wording
If you’re looking for a direct and to-the-point way to let your guests know that there will be no children present at your wedding, this is the section for you. Our no kids wording templates are perfect for couples who want their invitation to say just that—no kids allowed! Whether it’s a matter of budget or space limits, these templates are ideal ways to let people know what they can expect at your wedding without having wasted too many words on other details.
When you want to be direct
Here are some of the best no kids wedding invitation wording ideas if you want to make your message short and simple:
- Adults only
- No children allowed
- 18+ only, please
- Named guests only
- Sorry, no children
- Our wedding is adults only
When you want to keep it short and sweet
If you’re not going to have any kids at your wedding, then why say any more than that? Your guests don’t need the details.
- “Please join us for an adult reception at six o’clock.”
- “Please note this will be an adults-only celebration.”
- “Adult (18 and older) reception to follow.”
- “We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception.”
- “Although we love your little ones, this is an adult only affair.”
- “The bride and groom request that this be an adults-only reception.”
- “Please celebrate with us at an adults-only reception immediately following the ceremony.”
- “Unfortunately we cannot accommodate children – thank you for your understanding.”
When budget or space is limited
If you have a limited budget or space, you may want to consider the following wording:
- “[X] seats have been reserved in your honour. Please let us know if you will be joining us!”
- “Due to limited venue space, adults only please.”
- “Due to budget/space limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children.”
- “Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them at the venue due to restricted numbers.”
- “Although we adore your children, due to budget/space constraints we ask that only adults attend.”
- “Regrettably our chosen venue is unable to accommodate children. Professional babysitting will be provided at the hotel.”
- Or include a personalised note with your invitation: “We’d love to have Lexie and Max there but unfortunately we’re limited by budget/space constraints. We hope you can still make it.”
- We’d love to invite everyone to celebrate our special day, but there simply isn’t room. For this reason, we’ve decided to host an adults-only celebration.
- Saving for a house is expensive! Because of this, we’re keeping our guest list short and sweet — adults only, please.
- Our wedding will be adults only so that we can have our dream wedding venue. Know that we love [child’s name] dearly, and we’re excited to see them again soon!
- We’d invite the world if we could, but it’s simply not an option. Please note our event is adults only.
- Our numbers are restricted, so it’s with sadness that we cannot invite [child’s name] to the ceremony and reception. They are welcome to join you at the hotel though, where a babysitting service will take care of them during the festivities.
These messages are short and sweet! It gets right to the point without giving too much detail about why there won’t be children at your wedding.
When you want to kick curfews to the curb
- “To allow all wedding guests, including parents, a night of relaxation and uninhibited revelry, we respectfully ask that no children attend the reception.”
- “We love your kids but thought you might like a night off. Adults only please!”
- “To give all our guests the opportunity to celebrate without having to worry about little eyes and ears, we politely request no children.”
- “We hope you will understand our decision to make the wedding children-free, and take the opportunity to let your hair down and celebrate in style!”
- “To allow all guests to relax and enjoy themselves, we have chosen to make our special day adults only. We thank you for your understanding.”
When your venue is adults only
Here’s some of the best no kids wedding invitation wording if you simply can’t invite children due to your venue’s policies:
- Unfortunately, due to venue restrictions, we won’t be able to invite children to the wedding.
- We wish we could have invited [child’s name] to celebrate with us on the day, but the venue sadly isn’t suitable for children.
- The nature of our chosen venue means it’s not appropriate for those under 18. Adults are welcome, but no children, please.
- We know how important child safety is, which is why we share the same views as our venue that this isn’t the place for children. Because of this, our wedding day will be adults only.
- Due to policies outside our control, our wedding reception venue is 18+ only. Please note this means children regrettably won’t be able to attend our ceremony or reception.
When you’re including newborns, nieces and nephews
If you’re writing a more general “adults-only” invitation and you have young kids in the family, it’s polite to include an invitation for them. Then, you can use the following wording:
- “Children of immediate family only please.”
- “Respectfully, an adult occasion (18+). Infants under 12 months welcome.”
- “Due to limited numbers, we hope you appreciate that children are only invited if named.”
- “Unfortunately we are only able to accommodate children in the wedding party at our reception.”
- “We wish we could include all children, but are unfortunately only able to invite immediate family.”
- “Due to necessity rather than choice, it is children of immediate family only. We hope you understand and enjoy your night off!”
- “Unfortunately due to space limitations, we are having an adults-only reception. The only children attending are those who are part of our wedding party. If anyone needs help with making arrangements for child care, please let us know and we will do our best to assist.”
When some children are invited but others aren’t
Even at a child-free wedding, there might be a few under-18s present. Many guests will realize that they are likely to be children of immediate family members, close friends, or the wedding party – or babies that cannot be left. However, there is the possibility that others are unaware that it is your niece or nephew, and may wonder if the policy was not applied fairly.
Here’s how to say no kids at the wedding when the reality is that some children will be there on the day:
- Although we’re hosting an adults-only event due to limited space, you may still see some children at our celebration. Our ceremony wouldn’t be complete without our ring bearer and flower girl, who’ll be invited to stay for the reception celebration as a thank you.
- Please note our celebration is for adults only, except newborns and infants.
- While we’d have loved to have a big celebration on our wedding day, our limited budget means we can only invite children from our immediate family. We’re excited to plan a separate get-together soon so that all the families can play together!
- Adults only, please. An exception is made for newborns and babies (under 12 months) — we understand that being separated from their beloved caregiver at this age isn’t an option.
- Due to space restraints, we’ve only been able to extend invites to the children of our immediate family and wedding party. We hope you can understand.
When only part of your event is adults only
As it is your special day, you may choose to host an adults-only ceremony followed by a family-friendly reception – or the other way around. You should make it clear to your wedding guests which moments are involved if children are invited to the event.
Here’s some no kids wedding invitation wording inspiration for when only one part of your wedding is adults only:
- We’d love to see [child’s name] at our ceremony, but please note that the reception is adults only.
- All children will be looked after in the nursery during the ceremony but are welcome to join us in the main hall to eat, dance, and have fun at the reception!
- So that we can all relax and let our hair down, our evening wedding reception will be adults only. Please feel free to make use of our babysitting service from [time] onwards.
- Our ceremony will take place at [time]. After this, please join us for an adult reception from [time].
- While our wedding ceremony is for adults and children of close family members only, our wedding reception is open to all. We’d be so excited to welcome [child’s name] to celebrate with us from [time] onwards. Until then, we’re providing a wonderful babysitting service in [venue room name].
When it’s simply your preference
Some couples may be restricted by budget or venue policies, but you don’t need an external reason to host a child-free wedding. Maybe you want to feel free to be loud or host a sophisticated celebration that isn’t appropriate for kids. Or you might simply want to keep things adults only.
Here’s how to say no kids at the wedding when there’s no other reason, it’s just your preference on how you want your wedding day to be:
- We’ve made the choice to have an adults-only wedding. We’re excited to see you there!
- So that we can have the big day we’ve always dreamed of, we’re making it an adults-only event.
- We have some really exciting things planned for our wedding reception. With this in mind, we’ve decided to say no children at the wedding, please.
- To focus on our vows and soak up every moment, we’re hosting a child-free wedding.
- We’ve decided to host a child-free wedding. We understand this won’t work for everyone, so please know that we respect your RSVP decision either way!
Conclusion
We hope these tips have helped you get started on creating the perfect no kids wedding invitation wording for your upcoming nuptials. If you still have questions or need some more ideas, feel free to reach out and we’d be happy to help!
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