Bridal shower vs wedding shower vs bachelorette party (and engagement party and couple’s shower) – what’s the difference between them?
If there’s one great thing about weddings besides marrying the love of your life, it’s that you can throw a lot of great parties before your big day!
So where do we start with all the pre-wedding activities?
Don’t worry, we’ve found the answers to all your questions. It’s not as complicated as it sounds.
Bridal Showers, Bachelorette Parties, Wedding Showers, Bachelor Parties, and Engagement Parties
When couples get engaged, there are a lot of fun parties to plan.
While you don’t have to do them all, in our opinion, you’re only getting married once, so why not use every excuse to throw multiple parties to celebrate your engagement and upcoming wedding?
The following is basic information about each party style.
The bridal shower
- Typically an all-female party that is hosted by the maid of honor, bridesmaids, and/or the mother-of-the-bride or mother-of-the-groom
- Normally happens 2 weeks to 2 months before the wedding date
- Close friends and family of the bride-to-be
- The average guest count is 15-50 guests
- They generally last 2-4 hours
- Activities include gift opening, games, and food/drinks
- A bridal shower invitation is typically sent to guests (you can also do a digital invite)
For more info on planning or hosting a bridal shower, check out this article: How to plan and host a bridal shower.
The bachelorette party
- Normally a weekend trip for the bride, bridal party, and close friends of the bride-to-be (local or destination)
- Typically happens 2 months to 6 months prior to the wedding date
- Usually 8-15 girls
- Activities can be whatever fits the bride’s style (concerts, nice restaurants, camping, bar hopping, clubs, the beach, spa day, etc.)
The wedding shower (also called the couples shower or jack and jill party)
- A coed party for the couple and their closest family and friends
- Typically happens 2 weeks to 2 months before the wedding day
- Since both sides are included the guest count is typically 25-50 people (sometimes more)
- All genders welcome
- They normally last 3-5 hours
- Fun activities include games, opening gifts, great food/drinks, etc.
The bachelor party
- Typically a night out or weekend trip with the groom, best man, groomsmen, and close friends
- Typically happens 2 months to 6 months before the wedding day
- Usually 8-15 guys
- Activities can be anything that fits the groom’s style (bar hopping, camping, concerts, road trips, the beach, etc.)
The engagement party
- A party to celebrate the newly engaged couple
- Normally happens within the first couple of months after getting engaged
- The average guest count is 25-50 people
- Great food and drinks
- Simply a great way to celebrate the couple
- If the couple is from different parts of the country, it is common to throw two separate engagement parties (one in each location)
Who is invited to the bridal shower and bachelorette party?
For the bridal shower, here are the people who are usually invited:
- The bridal party
- Close female family members
- Female friends or coworkers that the bride-to-be is close with
Do not feel obligated to invite every sings person that bride knows.
For the bachelorette party, the normal invitation list is the bridal party and any other close friends of the bride.
You want to make sure that the people you invite are people you would like to spend the entire weekend with without drama.
Pre-wedding parties at a glance (the main stuff you need to know)
The important info you need for the pre-wedding celebrations:
| When is it? | Who pays for it? | Who gets invited? | Should you bring Gifts? | How many guests? | |
| Bridal shower | 2 weeks to 2 months before the wedding. | Maid of honor, bridesmaids, mother-of-the-bride, or mother-of-the-groom (or a combination of those people) | Female family members and friends who are close to the bride-to-be | Yes | Normally 15-50 guests |
| Bachelorette party | 2 months to 6 months before the wedding. | The maid of honor and the bridesmaids | The bridal party and any other close friends of the bride | Sometimes (if the bride loves gifts, bring a gift) | Normally between 8-15 guests |
| Wedding shower | 2 weeks to 2 months before the wedding. | Parents of the couple or the wedding party (or a combination). | The bride and groom (or the couple) plus friends and family who are close to the couple (male and female) | Yes | Normally 25-50 guests |
Bridal shower vs bachelorette party vs wedding shower (what is the difference?)
What is the difference between a bridal shower and a wedding shower? Is there a difference?
The main difference between a bridal shower and a wedding shower is that a bridal shower is usually an all-female party where the bride’s family and friends shower her with gifts. A wedding shower usually has both the bride and groom (or both), as well as their family and friends (male and female).
Wedding showers are becoming more and more common among the younger generation. Today, many couples want all of their celebrations and parties to be a big mix of their favorite people.
Many same-sex couples choose a wedding shower over a bridal shower or groom shower.
The bottom line is to do whatever makes you the happiest.
This article is intended to give you basic information about each party style, but you should make your own rules and throw a party that puts a smile on your face.
Some frequently asked questions about bridal giveaways, bachelorette parties and wedding shower
Here are some answers to the most frequently asked questions about pre-wedding parties:
Is a bridal shower the same thing as a bachelorette party?
No. The purpose of a bridal shower is to “gift” the bride-to-be before the wedding.
A bachelorette party is an opportunity for the bride and her bridal party to spend some fun, stress-free days together before the bride gets married.
Do you have a bachelorette party and bridal shower?
Yes, most brides have a bridal shower (or wedding shower) and a bachelorette party.
This doesn’t mean you have to have both, but most brides love another excuse to get together with their closest family and friends. We personally like the idea of having both.
Who hosts the bridal shower and bachelorette party?
Usually, the bridal shower is planned/hosted by the maid of honor, bridesmaids, mother of the bride or mother of the groom. Many times it is a combination of many people.
This is not a set rule. Anyone can host a bridal shower for the bride-to-be (friends, co-workers, grandparents, aunts, cousins, etc.)
What is the difference between an engagement party and a bridal shower?
A bridal shower is a pre-wedding party for the bride-to-be where she receives gifts from her closest female family members and friends.
An engagement party is an opportunity to celebrate the newlyweds. This party is usually held a month or two after the couple’s engagement. The guest list is a mix of family and friends from both sides of the family.
Do you have a bridal shower or a bachelorette party first?
Typically, the bachelorette party is held first (2-6 months prior to the wedding) and the bridal shower is held last (2 weeks to 2 months prior to the wedding).
Can you have an engagement party instead of a bridal shower?
Absolutely! There are no set rules for any of these things.
If you want to have a fun party immediately after getting engaged to both sides of the family and skip the bridal shower, that’s totally fine. Do what makes you happy.
In our opinion, we think you should throw as many parties as possible. You’ll only experience this life stage once. Enjoy it (and get lots of photos and videos).
What is a Kitchen Tea?
A kitchen tea is very similar to a bridal shower.
Bridal kitchen teas are common in Australia, New Zealand and South Africa.
A kitchen tea party is a tea party for the bride-to-be where the female guests bring bridal gifts for kitchen use only.
More Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party Planning Tips and Resources
Here are a few more articles that you might find helpful when planning or hosting a bridal shower:
- The best bridal shower gifts for the bride-to-be
- Fun games to play at the bridal shower (with free printables)
- How to plan and host a bridal shower or wedding shower
- Songs to add to your bridal shower playlist
- Bridal shower game prizes
- He said, she said bridal shower game
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